One thing that makes me, me, is my anxiety. It is the constant back seat driver when I am trying to find my way on the road of life. In the past it has limited me, kicked me in the face, and caused me to breakdown. There is constant stress, worry, and agitation I feel. Sometimes I can hide it and other times it shows through dramatically.
My anxiety pushes me to the limit sometimes and gets me in a groove where I have to do everything and anything all at one. That I have to be on the go, go, go, and there is no down time to breathe. That usually leads to a crash and burn that results in lots of tears, time in bed, and mental disconnect from my responsibilities. It’s a repeating cycle of going from zero to one hundred.
As I cruise through each and every day, I am learning the concept of balance. Just like how anxiety is different for everyone, so is balance. I am working towards finding what works best for me, and what tools will lead me to live a happy, successful, and healthy life.
So far on my journey, I have fallen in love with the feeling that earning a good sweat and working out hard gives me. I am by no means a “fitness addict” but the sensation the body feels after you pushed yourself to your physical and mental limits is so rewarding. The strength I find in myself to run just another quarter of a mile, or to hold the plank for another 30 seconds, is something I always look forward too.
Working out actually calms my anxiety and makes me feel strong in every way. The feelings of uneasiness go away and the tenseness in my thoughts and movements loosen up. I feel like my mind and body step out of the anxiety that usually masks my body. It gives me a whole new confidence in myself.
In the past few years, I have tried various activities like: yoga, running, biking, kickboxing, Pilates, weightlifting, golfing, dancing, cross training, etc. Trying all these activities have given myself a variety of options to ease the overwhelming feelings that arise within me. For example, I practice yoga after I spent days in bed secluding myself. I weight lift or kick box when angry and mean thoughts can’t escape my brain. I go for bike rides in nice weather because it makes me feel calm and collective.
No matter what physical activity I chose to do, I feel like it alignes my mental and emotional health (and sanity). It’s the recharge I need in order to keep going.
So am I writing to you, the ones with anxiety. I encourage you to find what balances you in your life, whatever it may be. Get out there, try new things, and take control of the apprehensiveness within you. Don’t let anxiety take the wheel, put it in its place and let it know you are the driver.